I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
porn star boner night. come get it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
