the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we're making bets on your personal life
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
