How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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