I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
