I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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