He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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