someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize