hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
