Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
