Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
