we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
