she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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