mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
