The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
