I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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