there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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