One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
