thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
