Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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