where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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