I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
