What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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