Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
