well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
