I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
