You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
