we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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