I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
