I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
