Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Randomize
