Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
