Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
