she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
