operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
