Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
