I hate your face
Do vagina's smell?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
nutella sex= disaster
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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