HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
