i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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