He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
