Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
