I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
