shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
