You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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