you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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