"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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