She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize