i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
