I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
