she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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