do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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