your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
