Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
