'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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