the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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