sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Pants are for mortals
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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