Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
