ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
