ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
