Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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