I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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