It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
