You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
