K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
